Sunday, February 11, 2018

I Can Lose More Than You Can Ever Win

Alone seems like such a sad word. Creativity lurks there. So does despair. Slowly now and finally I begin to understand what makes me different from most other folks. I wasn't instilled with shame, inhibition. I wasn't told that I was the center of the universe as a child. I was the center of the universe. I never had to earn love, I was showered with boundless, unconditional love at every turn.

My first grade teacher, Miss Gamon, came to visit while I was in the hospital recuperating from my tonsillectomy. She held my hand and told me all about who the smartest kids were with me gone. Oh, I loved Miss Gamon.

Cynicism never occurred to me. 

As Lottie taught me to pray, beginning with, "Now I lay me down to sleep...," it ended with, "Give us peace on earth and end this dreadful, dreadful war. Amen." It was never about this war or that war. We were praying for an end to the horror and the evil of war. Amen, indeed.

Of course cynicism and sarcasm came to me. Honestly, I was pretty good at it. See what I mean.

Somehow I always seem to find my way home. I'm Maxine's son. Lottie's boy. I am the smartest kid in the class, the center of the universe. You are, too.

All any of us ever need is love.


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