Most days I desperately want to quit. Social media, that is. I'm so sick of spilling my coffee, only to be inundated with ads for paper towels before I can get to the kitchen. Oh, yeah- I don't want to see the big, bold headlines that Willie has died again and that Neil has passed out onstage in front of six million fans while debasing Donald Trump, whose mother had a secret bible that she got from Mary Magdalene.
Who knew that I would ever miss the good old days of imaginative fake news headlines:
"Pitbull Eats Mobile Home"
"Hillary Pregnant With Alien Baby"
"Arthur Godfrey's Three-legged Son Makes Olympic Team"
If I lose track of my dear friends' birthdays and funeral notices, I will have cut nearly all ties to the USA. Keep reading these blogs. The fact that I haven't said anything important yet increases the odds that I might at any minute.
Give us peace on earth and end this dreadful, dreadful war.