Thursday, June 10, 2021

Tag Teams and Moonbeams


Never one to let reality disrupt my life, I've decided to fix myself. Reluctantly, I must disclose your role in this. Without sufficient funds for therapy on a regular basis, I'm gonna have to babble here. Of course, if you're paying attention, you're fully aware that I've been doing that for ten years now. 

Blogs were already out of fashion when I started. Perfect.

Oh, I considered a  podcast four or five years ago. Laziness half-heartedly reared its head and convinced me to reconsider.

Seems that I have defeated self-pity, denied romance and defied social awkwardness. I'm struggling with war, poverty, racism and income inequality. I've always dreamed big. I still want to save the world, but I worry that time is running out. My time.

I sleep well knowing that Greta Thunberg is doing the work.

I'll be back.

Give us peace on earth and end this dreadful, dreadful war.

Thursday, June 3, 2021

Blame Me

What is the statute of limitations for guilt? Anybody know? Oh, I haven't run out of bad intentions. It's just that opportunity seldom knocks these days. If I should end up with a tombstone, may I suggest,

"Money in the bank
Lust in his heart"💜


Tuesday, May 18, 2021

Shiny Hair

Here's hoping that you live long enough to blush about most of your past. Wisdom seems to be based, mostly, on acceptance of shortcomings. Sometimes I have trouble trying to tell if an open heart comes from an open mind or vice versa.

I don't know much and I used to know less.

Give us peace on earth and end this dreadful, dreadful war.


Tuesday, May 4, 2021



Life never really got the best of me. Oh, I've been down for a count of eight or maybe even nine, but somehow, I've always been up for the bell and the round. To what do I attribute my staying power? Good luck and good genes.

Assured of a long life, I've had more than I ever dreamed.

If I had to narrow down the elements of my grand fortune I would have to say that the kindness and love that greeted me from the beginning are at the tippy top. In fact, second place doesn't much matter.

Wednesday, April 28, 2021

When Hula Girls Ruled the Planet


Torn between keeping my good fortune a secret and risking jinxing it all by boasting, I have decided to spill the beans. I was born lucky. Really lucky. I am that pin ball that comes right down the center alley, without a single encounter with a flipper, and drops straight into the million point hole.

Bells ring. Lights flash.

Oh, it was never a game of skill with me. One must work to acquire skills. My excuse has always been that work might affect my authenticity. Raise your hand if you can see right through that!

There are days when I'm not sure if I have managed to stay off all gods' radars, avoiding lightning strikes and infestations, or if, in fact, I have contrived a scheme to always end up at the front of the line when the stuff gets handed out.

Before you ask, yes, I will be happy to share my great fortune with you.

Thursday, April 8, 2021

Financial Times

My advice to whippersnappers is simple- start your own currency scam. The old guard have the traditional wealth, including the yachts, the real estate and the financial markets. The new billionaires have thrown in with the crypto-currency bunch. They're betting on water, net art, batteries and money that isn't really there.

The secret is that none of it is there.

I have personally witnessed folks doing unspeakable things for beads. Yeah, beads.

The real Americans gave away Manhattan Island for the things, remember?

They knew that you don't own the land. That's ridiculous.

If you're going for the intangibles, go with love. If you're holding out for something that you can own and wear and show off, stick with beads.

Have I ever steered you wrong?


Tuesday, March 16, 2021

The Universe Tugs

Big day here. I was able to talk to Aunt Jo on the phone for a few precious minutes. She'll be turning one hundred and five in a few months. Did I tell you that she had lunch with Eleanore Roosevelt at the white house? 

In other news, I've had Lola staying with me this week. She's a fine, sweet dog with no ambition and a good sense of humor. She won't really be led on a leash. I have to plan a route in advance and gently pull her in the direction that gets us where we need to go and gets us back home again.

Somewhere around mid-walk this afternoon, it occurred to me that the universe treats me the same way. I've never taken orders well. The cosmos has to trick me into thinking that everything's my own idea. Seems to have worked up to now.

Give us peace on earth and end this dreadful, dreadful war.