Saturday, April 23, 2022

Leaving Home

Not much of a wanderer, I guess. Oh, I've seen a few places thanks to rock'n'roll. I've pasted my head onto bodies in exotic places all around the world and I live in a house full of globes and maps. I'm a geographer, remember?

For most of my life, though, I've lived in Tampa. We moved here when I was six years old, my single mom, my grandmother and me. I've always told the story that it was my idea, that the mother allowed the kid to make a big life decision. Now, finally, I realize that I was played. You can't just pick up and move after a life in one place, can you? 

Maxine's heart was in Florida. Sunny skies, warm beaches, a new life. She told friends and relatives that her son wanted to move to Tampa. Instead of defending the move, she merely defended spoiling her son. She had no work. No home. No connections. 

For years friends and bandmates attempted to get me to move. New York. L.A. Nashville. Austin. Heck, London always offered me more than Tampa. My pal, Jimmy LaFave, always enjoyed torturing me as "geographically challenged." 

 I knew, but my heart was in Tampa. I love the place. It's home.

You know what they say, though- home is where the heart is, and now my heart is in Wales. Portugal looks pretty, too.  

I feel sorry for anyone who doesn't follow his heart.

Give us peace on earth and end this dreadful, dreadful war.



Sunday, April 17, 2022

Rasslin' Bears


If, for some reason, you want to wrestle a bear today, you're going to have to travel to Russia. That's not really fashionable. 

There was a time, not so long ago, that you could grapple ol' Ursus right here in the USA. Cherokee, North Carolina. Walla Walla, Washington. Several little roadside attractions along the northern California highways.

Now, no man can out-wrestle the average bear. Most of these semi-trained creatures were relatively tame, though. The bear would tend to squeeze the human with about the same pressure that he was being squeezed. He would whack the fool about as hard as he was being whacked. They were rewarded for their manners. Usually Coca Cola and Moon Pies. Wo to the drunken hillbilly who decided to show off to his sweetheart. More than one sad bumpkin left the ring with bumps, bruises and contusions. If Bruno concluded that his opponent was playing rough, the match was over.

Don't play where you can't win. Throw balls at the carnival. Win her a teddy bear.

Don't ever step too close to the fire until you're ready to be consumed.

Tuesday, April 5, 2022

Dog Catches Car


Have you ever wondered what you would do if, suddenly, everything worked out? What if life was perfect? Somewhere in our design, I presume, we are given ambition to keep us going. Purpose. 

Well, sir- I'll let you know.

Eternity is not a real concept, is it? It seems to be something that we made up for comfort. 

Joy is.