Monday, September 30, 2019

Step On It

Luck, I have come to realize, is relative. I've already lived a long time, met the sweetest people, slept with the best dogs, looked at the most stunning art and listened to the prettiest music. I'm not bragging, I'm gushing,

Oh, I could rattle off specifics. You would hardly be impressed. One man's trash..., you know. 

At the tippy top of my list, though, is knowing just how lucky I am. 

Friday, September 27, 2019

Five More Minutes

Regrets? I have a few. 

No tour ever lasted for more than a month. Clearly a mistake in terms of career. Somehow, there was always a girl at home, or more often, a dog.

Given another crack at it, I wouldn't tour at all. What wouldn't I give for five more minutes to walk her and tell her what a good girl she is!

Wednesday, September 25, 2019

Rocket Boosters

A certain maudlin demeanor has set in on my leisurely existence. I cry over Publix commercials, natural disasters, left-over dog hair and Luke The Drifter records. I should be ashamed to tell you how excited I am about "God Friended Me" starting a new season. I am, but not much.

Maybe I'll get through the evening news with a Champagne Kir Royale and wait for a good Subaru ad to come on.

It's all in the hands of the poets now.

Sunday, September 22, 2019

Boys In Hot Rods

There was a time when my every waking thought was about cars. Well, to be honest, there was the occasional stray fantasy featuring Brigitte Bardot or one of those peroxide blonde chorus girls from Club Lido, but I could dispose of those with a dose of manual dexterity.

Generally, though, it was all hot rods. By the time that I was legally able to drive, I was on my third car- a 1932 Ford, three window coupe with a Corvette engine. I most certainly would have killed myself except for the fact that it usually wasn't running. I have no mechanical aptitude. That has only been clear to me over the last ten years or so.

Now I drive what is likely to be the last automobile that I will ever own- my Aunt Jo's hand- me-down, 2001 Toyota Camry. What a fall from grace! 

I couldn't be more pleased with myself.

What is it about men and cars? Men and guns? Men and war? What is it about men?

Thursday, September 19, 2019

Hiding Elves' Ears

Everybody needs more love. It all seems so very simple. Somehow we seem to have created grand problems to make life difficult and painful for that path from birth to the grave. Worse, we have dragged all other creatures along.

After that first bite, we just couldn't put that apple down. From "Great googly moogly, she's naked!" to " I believe a half million smackers should get my kid into U.S.C.".

That therapist asked, " Could you consider that you're more sentimental than she is?"

Cue the comic book light bulb over my head.

Heck, I'm more sentimental than everybody.

Tuesday, September 17, 2019

Good Years And The Others

There may be no more daunting a task than to make up a "thank you" list. Looks like I may never win an oscar. Sad as that makes me, it's a big load off of my mind. My teachers and mentors, partners, bosses, relatives, lovers, roommates, wives, friends, gurus and neighbors make a list that is unwieldy. Add in dogs and cats, goldfish and assorted rodents and reptiles, and I have a list that nobody has the patience to abide.

You know who you are.

Most likely I have never thanked you properly. Acknowledging my social awkwardness, I will make no excuse. I have a sustained debt of gratitude that is no burden at all. It is an honor.

Don't think I don't know that you risked plenty to back me up; that you could have hired someone easier; that I'm difficult. Now, I'm aware that the dogs and cats and most of the relatives were in a more precarious position- not to mention the wives.

Oh, I know why you performed with me and I knew all along why I was invited to your party. Maybe I didn't say anything because I didn't want to embarrass you. 

Yeah, I know. That's not it.

Keep an eye on me. I'm doing the best I can. I love you.

Monday, September 16, 2019

Bring In The Bird and Put Out The Fish

What if it all makes sense at the end? 

Well, sir, everything seems to be making sense and I'm not buying green bananas. I suppose that if you have a life plan, the plan has an end. Of course, I've never had a plan and I'm not likely to devise one now.

The benefit, if there is a benefit, to this aging stuff is that nobody will be surprised when I kick a bucket.

I suppose I should have paid more attention along the way, but I'll be darned if I can tell you why.

Thursday, September 12, 2019

In All Sizes

Just when I thought that I had run out of heroes- ker wham!- Greta Thunberg!

Now, if you come around here often, you've gotten used to me whining about the demise of my beloved rock'n'roll. Okay, let's be honest- you're bored sick of it. Geezus, it hung around for decades. It was meant to last for a year or two!

Not all of my heroes have come from rock'n'roll, of course. In fact, Roy Rogers was the first. It doesn't escape me that he wore glitter suits and played guitar while he sang. In what for me was a logical progression, Elvis, and then the Beatles, provided most of my inspiration for most of the rest of my life. 

While the trvialist ninnies argue over exactly what event signaled the official end of the fab four, we can all agree that they have been gone for nearly half a century, with only half of them walking on the planet. I have been rudderless for more than half my life. My long life.

Of course I have writers and race car drivers, poets, hookers and sons of god; doctors and scientists, movie stars, cult leaders and ventriloquists whom I tend to put up on wobbly pedestals. I try to talk like them and dress like them and comb my hair like they do. Well, I don't comb my hair all that often, but, if I did, I would try to comb it like James Dean combed his.

Finally, it seems only fitting that I am thunderstruck. 

This is the real thing. This is a hero.

Greta Thunberg is the sixteen year old Swedish student who began school strikes in 2018 to bring attention to the climate catastrophe that the planet faces. She is currently in the U.S. speaking to various groups and organizations to bring awareness to a wider audience. I feel the same excitement that coursed through my sixteen year old body when the Beatles first came to the states.

As you might guess, a great number of American adults are finding time to ridicule, harass and even threaten this brave, young prophet. Oh, it's not strictly an American thing. Jerks and jackasses from around the world, who happen to submit to profit over science, are in on the opposition.

The wise sixteen year old takes it as a sign that she's dealing with truth. I do, too.

Welcome, Greta. You're just in time.

Tuesday, September 10, 2019

One Search

The search feels like such a lonely endeavor, and yet, it's all the same search. If you're naive enough, you'll never lose your innocence. Of course, you will just seem dumb to most of the folks you meet. I have suggested that we leave the decisions to the poets. I'm gonna guess that that will be considered naive.

My jokes and my philosophy share brainwave space. It's handy. Of course my favorite comedians don't tell jokes. Never did. 

Oh, I ramble. That's what I do. You don't get good at rambling, but you don't get tired of it, either.

Give us peace on earth and end this dreadful, dreadful war.

Sunday, September 8, 2019

Born Lonely

They slap you on the bottom to make you cry in the beginning and they keep on until it's over. When someone takes your hand and loves you, it makes you wonder why it's not all like this.

Maxine and Lottie always insisted that I was the smartest one. The most handsome. They told me that I sang prettier than anyone ever had. 

Now, I'm not particularly smart, but I was always smart enough to know that none of that was true. It taught me about love and I suppose that was my lesson.

Wednesday, September 4, 2019

Teacher's Pet

It's not about the guru. Everybody's got something to teach you. There is no design, no plan, no righteous path. Children will show you kindness, and dogs and cats will share joy with you.

Everybody gets hurt on the journey and that's just the way it is.

Seems to me that those of us who have been given everything should be honored to share the love with everybody around us.

Go, cat, go.

Tuesday, September 3, 2019

Go Cut Me A Hickory Switch!

The morbid angels keep an eye on them. Once they slumped on green benches. Now they belly up to the bar at the Emerald. No rush. Bars are dark and the good ones are cold. It's all part of the preparation, I suppose.

It's all about kindness. Pity the ones who find out too late.

What key? What's the difference? Sing with all your heart and mean every word of it.

Monday, September 2, 2019

Pale Blue Jawbreakers

Seems to me that the validity of miracles is really just an exercise in semantics. It's all a miracle to me. Boy, I woulda' traded that island for those beads in a wink of the eye. Still would!

Now, I've never tried to tell you that I'm smart. What if I convinced you and later you found me out? I would like to tell you that it's more important to be happy, but I'm not always happy, either.

With me, what you see is pretty much what you get. Problem is what you see tomorrow might be something else. Oh, I try to tell the truth, but, honestly, that keeps changing on me, too.

While you're beating the swords into plowshares, melt those danged guns down, too. 

Give us peace on earth and end this dreadful, dreadful war.

Sunday, September 1, 2019

Wine and Chartreuse

My crystal ball sits on a bookshelf, gathering dust. One of the problems with eccentricity is that folks don't know when to take you seriously. Seriously.

When I tell you that I'm not like the others, believe me.

The lucky ones don't have a clue as to what others think of them.