All my life I seem to have done well on standardized tests. All those things at the end of high school- I got scores that were close to perfect. Don't let me fool you into thinking that I'm smart. I did well on the subjects that I don't know anything about. Trigonometry. Calculus.
I finish before pretty much everyone else, too. I'm pretty sure that's because I can't bear sitting there taking a test.
Somehow it all failed me in growing up. Oh, I've always been good at balancing a checkbook and my table manners are alright.
The important stuff, though, it's all been slow. I just don't take much seriously. You can dress me up but I'll soon be a mess. I want everything I see and then when I get it, I don't want it. I'll show off for attention and sometimes I cry when I'm left alone.
I was one of those kids picked out for a lifetime of hearing the phrase "Doesn't work up to his potential" from just about everyone from my teachers to anyone else who wanted to elbow in. But I was working up to my potential - as much of it as I was going to give to being bored stiff. I spent a lot of time looking out the windows and wondering if they'd catch me if I took off for the tall and uncut. The fun parts were that when I got to a regular college (after walking out of class too many times in art college) and could take what classes I wanted, I got straight A's. I made them send my parents a "Congratulations, you ne'er do well son made the dean's list" letters. And a couple years back, I asked my always straight A's-in-school wife Lucy if she knew what her IQ was. She said yeah. Dang. Same as mine. How did I get to be such a fuck up?ReplyDelete