Sunday, December 23, 2012

Who put the benzedrine...

... in Old Man Elliott's egg nog? Now, I don't want to be crude and ruin anybody's holidays but I'm getting lonely here. Wait, that's not accurate. I'm getting horny. Okay, that's close. Closer any way. I am horny. I've been horny.

As the last great love of my life strolled out she asked what I was planning to do. When I replied that I wasn't sure but that I knew that I was interested in sex but couldn't imagine a relationship she replied,"That's called dating, Ronny."

Well, not for me. I'm a fool for love and I always have been. Sitting at a table next to Lucinda Williams one time she described a former drummer as cute. "I didn't have to marry him. I'm over cute!" It's not an exclusive club, I suppose.

My only interest in making love requires love. Seems obvious by definition to me. Here's the hitch. I've had to live this long to figure any of this out, even a little bit. I love people. I mean I really, really love people. I can't marry every woman I love. Alright, I know what you're thinking. It's true, I'm off to a pretty good start.

Somehow the notion that there is something wrong with sex outside of committed relationships was etched far too effectively in my young Sunday school brain. I'm not looking for any one night stand. I'm not really opposed to the concept. It just doesn't appeal to me all that much. I surely don't have any interest in talking anybody into anything.

I just always seem to get back to the bonobo concept of "sex is good." I hope to come back, pardon the pun, as a bonobo.

I'm pretty sure that it was Roger Miller who wrote the heartbreakingly beautiful song, "The Last Word In Lonesome Is Me." I'm not as clever as Roger Miller. It's obvious to me that the next to last word in lonesome is some. I want to get me some. I know, I know; I said that I didn't want to be crude and here I am: crude.

You're not supposed to tell people this kinda' stuff. All the therapists that I've ever been dragged to love me. I'll tell anybody anything. I saw the first one that I ever worked with about a week ago. I miss her. You're gonna have to do.

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