Wednesday, November 4, 2015

What Lottie Said

Oh, I've had a few bad teachers I suppose. For the most part, though, I've been blessed with the most wonderful, kind and wise folks in the world who have been patient enough to help me in my bumbling journey through life.

Nobody has had the impact and the influence on me that my grandmother, Lottie Louise Sawyer Adams, has. I'm not a superstitious man, not unless it came from Grandma. Then- no exceptions. I still have to put my right shoe on first. It's bad luck to put the left one on first. I have to bite my tongue in the locker room at the Y two or three times a week. I hate to see anybody tempt fate but I don't want to be locked up or thrown out of the Y, either.

Her teachings run the gamut from the spiritual and sublime to the bawdy and ridiculous, usually combining all those elements. Most of these things that come to mind fall under the "old wives' tales" category. We've all heard them for most of our lives. Some are regional and of her time. She was born in Warrior, Alabama in 1889. My favorites came from her, from the heart. Here are a few of her sayings and a sample of her wisdom.

     _ "Don't handle a frog. If he pees on you you'll get warts."

     _"He's gone to see a man about buying a horse."

     _"Yes, and if a bullfrog had wings he wouldn't bump his butt so much."

     _"Get out from here now, Sir!"

     _"It's raining and the sun's shining. The devil's whippin' his wife."

     _"Here, scooch up to me."

     _"Don't make me cut a hickory!"

     _"Give us peace on earth and end this dreadful, dreadful war."

There are more, of course. Lots more. Itchy palms, broken mirrors, walking under ladders, black-eyed peas on New Year's and sneezing. Mostly, she taught me about love. She was love. She is love.

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