Needle In A Haystack, Diamonds In The Snow

I know you get tired of my whining. Heck, I get tired of my whining. I will say this on my behalf, though: I don't blame anyone else.

My story usually goes on about worrying for some time that I have lived with a fear of success and have subconsciously undermined all career endeavors, personal relationships and pretty much everything that I have undertaken. Then I patiently explain that I have considered the possibility and have concluded that I have merely stuck to my principals and refused all compromise. That, of course, leaves me above the fray. You know, the running joke that we call life.

Well, even I can see through that one. What, you may ask, is the common element in every one of my bands, every musical project? Yeah, that would be me. So all of these near misses, all of the "that close" stories; just bad luck? Nope. The number of opportunities that have been right in front of me and the talent and the hard work that kind folks all around me have given so selflessly is overwhelming. I just haven't come through with the goods.

My personal life has run on similar tracks. Again, the common element? Me! If women don't like me am I to conclude that something is wrong with women? Now, there's self esteem, huh? Allow me, here and now, to recognize that no one could put up with me. Not for long.

Oh, I'm not feeling sorry for myself. I'm just trying to understand me. Rodney Dangerfield made a big career out of less.