Sadder

Yeah, I guess it's about the saddest song ever written and I don't even know what half of it means. The first few notes of "Auld Lang Syne" ring out and my heart breaks along every fault line. I had planned to record a version for tonight but nobody wants to watch some old white-haired guy cry his eyes out.

I come by it honestly. My mom was better at sad than anyone I've ever known. She never saw a stray kitten that she ever got over. Genetically, I suppose, I'm missing some insulation. Oh, I'm missing other parts, too, but that's not relevant to the conversation here.

Here's to the ones of you that I have loved and managed to keep quiet about.

Here's to the others.

It's Cold In Here

Food. Water. Love. Seems to me there's plenty to go around for everybody. The problem seems to be distribution. There's a bottleneck in the system. Let's tax food thrown away from grocery stores and restaurants. I propose that we outlaw private ownership of water sources. Shouldn't water be treated like air?

There's already a reward for giving away love. Give some. You'll see. 

Yet there are so very many lonely people who are desperate for affection, so many animals in our shelters and on the streets. If you have some love to spare, and I dare say most of us do, get out there and spread it around.

Shouldn't I be ashamed of such juvenile, simplistic claptrap? This is all I got.

                                      

Tangles and Tears

Sometimes everything smells like home but, as they say, nothing good lasts. If you're lucky, there are the memories. Even those tend to fade after long enough. Maybe I'm afraid to make new ones. I'm not climbing into the back of the van.

Do I miss Scotland and Ireland? Yeah, I do. London always came as close to being "my town" as anyplace I've ever been.

Holding hands is probably what I miss more than anything. That's what I remember most.

Throw Like A Girl

Born in Alabama, his mother moved him to Florida while he was still a kid. He was part Creek with English, Irish/Scottish blood. Not me, even though that description fits. I'm talking about Osceola, the great Seminole chief. 

Under a white flag "peace" meeting the U.S. troops kidnapped him and he died in captivity shortly afterward. They took his head and it eventually ended up a legendary tourist attraction.

Maybe they should have worried more about his heart.

As a white male I have lived under all advantages in a rigged society. I have lived to see a shift in the cultural winds. It's over for old white guys. Good riddance.

Let me be clear here: 

I don't think white males are inherently bad. They had the power. They squandered it at the expense of everyone else. Oh, it's gonna take awhile. I won't live to see the turnover. I know about it in my heart, though.

Here's to the women, the native Americans, the descendants of slaves. Make a safe haven built on a foundation of love for everyone. Throw like a girl. That's a good thing.

Move Along

Whatta ya know? I found myself driving by her house today. In fact I drove by the house she lived in in elementary school and the house she lived in in junior high school. It wasn't planned. The two houses are only a quarter mile or so apart. You have no idea how many times I rode my bike by those two houses.

Did she know? She must have. We never spoke of it. We've never spoken much at all over all these years.

She doesn't live around here anymore. I don't think it was me. I remember that we danced together two or three times over the years.

We talked on the phone about ten years ago. I tracked her down from a newspaper article about her. She told me that she knew about my comings and goings. She said that her mom always clipped and mailed her anything that she saw in the paper about me.

                                         

Define Forever For Me

You said you were gonna love her forever. Then you didn't. The more things change, the more things change. Once you begin to understand that the game is not a game, it's almost over.

What have I learned? Not much. Don't wait for love. Love.

Give us peace on earth and end this dreadful, dreadful war.

Whisper When You Can

It hurts a little when you first find out that you're not like the others. Once you struggle with acceptance of the idea you have to be careful not to jump to any kind of conclusion that you're "better." I think that comes as a defense mechanism.

Maybe we all leave a trail of wreckage and destruction behind us, I don't know. It does seem that the odds of a match are extremely rare for the square pegs in a world of round holes.

Who you callin' square peg?

Who you callin' round hole?

My recent fortune cookies have read: "Stay Home." "Protect your heart." "Be still." "Be quiet. Quieter." "Love hard."

Here's to the good intentions. Here's to the mothers of the square pegs.