True ecstasy, for me, has always been a floater in the cosmos. I've never been able to focus on it for any extended period without it darting from sight. You can't look for it. You have to wait for it. When it comes, it comes on its own terms.
Boy, do I remember the joy that came from catching lightning bugs in a jar! Of course I have those memories, too, of the dead ones in the jar the next morning. We always thought that punching holes in the lid would keep them alive.
Meantime, I wait.
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