Wednesday, June 3, 2020

Sliding In To Shortstop

You're gonna think I'm making this up. I don't have the imagination for it.

An old friend was over a couple of weeks ago, digging up some plants for her yard. She noticed two plastic skulls placed very tastefully beside a fancy palm.

"Oh, I forgot that you collect skulls," she began. 

"Who don't?"was my obvious response.

"Do you want two more?"

Of course I told her that I did. I don't remember being very excited about it. The things are all over the house. It's not so much that I collect them as it is that they have accumulated. You know how some folks don't take down their Christmas lights? I'm more a halloween guy.

The next morning as I went out the side door, I stumbled over a grocery bag, folded over. I assumed that one of my kind neighbors was worried again that the old guy would starve with all the restaurants boarded up.

The clunk when I put the bag on the kitchen counter made me think that it was just canned goods.

No sir! When I opened the bag and peered in, there were two skulls looking up at me. Not plastic, halloween-variety skulls. Two skulls! Real, human skulls.

Last night, just as I was falling asleep, I hear a very odd, but very human voice from the the other bedroom, the room where one of the skulls now "rests".

Nobody. Nobody. Nobody.

More likely no body. No body. No body- right?

All night it went on. It seemed like every time I fell asleep, this weird, human voice would start. I finally convinced myself that it was some exotic tree frog just out the window. I had to!

Half way through pecking this out, it began again. I ran into the room, scared to death that I was confronting my Vincent Price nightmare and remembered the landline phone set that someone had just given me.

From the cardboard box, no battery. No battery. No battery.

Thank goodness. The skulls stay. Not sure about the phone.

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