The only thing that keeps me from being a self important spiritual leader is that I have nothing to say. Heck, I'd be a rock'n'roll star but I can't sing on key. Stand up comedy interests me but I can't remember jokes. Well, I remember that one about the thermos but that's not much of a show.
Living life is my calling but I've not quite gotten the hang of it yet. I know what you're thinking: better hurry up, don't you think? Now, is that nice?
I remember that Jackie Wilson clutched his chest, crying, "My heart! My heart!" as he was closing his show, singing Lonely Teardrops. That was the end.