Lessons

I don't seem to learn my lessons very quickly. I'm pretty sure that doesn't mean that I'm not paying attention. Yesterday sweet, wonderful friends helped me say goodbye to my mom. Some really beautiful strangers, too. Of course they're no longer strangers. So now I'm an old man and I have finally figured out that all lessons are about loss.

 And love.

Having blundered through a minefield of a personal life I struggle through the concept of love, itself. At 5:30 this morning I woke up with the thought in my mind that I'm always in love. That's really dumb but it's true. I love. That's what I do. Oh, I'm grumpy and I'm stubborn and I can be petty and unpleasant. I'm always in love, though. Pity the poor woman who bats her eyelashes at me. 

It seems that maybe I've figured it out to the point that I won't be dragging more victims through the jungle with me. On the other hand, I have a lot more trouble keeping my pants on than most grown men. I won't have naivete as an excuse any longer. If I have figured out a way to keep from falling in love, that's fine. I don't intend to quit loving.