Jelly In My Pocket

Where I come from, we had bottomless wells. In my day, mad dogs were the biggest threat in summer. Well, after the Klan, and we didn't see much of them. We searched for months for the mythical "firecracker hill" where the Birmingham police dumped all the confiscated fireworks.

Soldiers- kids, really- were returned by ambulance, in vegetative states, from the Korean conflict, to spend what life they had left in the twin bed that they had slept in through high school.

If you turned on the radio, Hank Williams would probably sing. Of course Hank died on New Year's Day, 1953, but in Alabama, that was just a sanctified career move. It always seemed like the ice cream would never be ready. Best to leave the cranking to the grownups to keep our minds off of it. The first sparkler is okay. Once you've written your name and burned two cousins, the excitement is gone.

The pursuit of lightning bugs could use up another five or ten minutes. 

Finally, ice cream. Peach ice cream.

Here's to summer.

Train Time

Drama has never sought me out, as nearly as I can tell. Would you rather die rich or die happy? I plan to mine memories for any future drama. Yeah, I've got a mindful of memories and a heart full of poetry. 

This is another one of those times when I'm pretty sure that I've told you everything. There is no mystique, no apology. Maybe when the sun comes up, melodies will reveal themselves. Yeah, I would love to brag that I've got a few surprises up my sleeve but I'm sitting here shirtless.

Celebrity Worship

They baptized me a Methodist but I really grew up in the Church of Celebrity. Oh, I loved Jesus, alright, but he was only a rank or two above Elvis. While I'm confessing, none of them could ever hold a candle to Brigitte Bardot.

My religion came to me honestly, passed down from my mom. Trying to make sense of it all now, she dreamed of Hollywood and Nashville. I suppose my arrival sealed those dreams. Birmingham was gonna have to do.

Here's a tip- if you've got stars in your eyes, you should probably get out of Birmingham. Now, me- I've got a college degree in geography. I feel qualified to tell you that you can substitute Tampa for Birmingham.

Sue Me

When I was a kid, I thought the USA won all wars. I thought preachers were all holy and girls were all sweet. This is, in fact, my first rodeo.

Am I sorry that I'm naive, a chump, if you will?

Not really.

You see, I live in my own little Garden of Eden, and for the most part, it's not a bad neighborhood. Oh, I have my cynical periods. Discoveries about the nature of the government. The church. The music business. Romance. At this stage of life, it's a pretty long list and I'm grateful that it's not longer.

What keeps me from becoming a mordant recluse? Kids and dogs and cats, I suppose. Oh, and pie. I love pie.

Stars In My Pockets

It didn't take long for me to figure out that my mom was too sensitive for her own good. Honestly, it made life harder for her and for all of us around her. It has taken me a lot longer to understand that I'm just like her.

"Ronny, would you be willing to consider that you're just more sentimental than she is?" the therapist asked.

Let me help with the translation:

"Buck up, fool! Life's hard and you seem to be good at making it harder. For everybody."

Well, I'm hoping for a legacy. It's selfish and petty and self-serving, I know. I'm hoping that someday, if I'm remembered at all, I'll be remembered for loving. Not particularly well. Certainly not wisely.

It had never dawned on me until folks at my mother's little memorial service took my hand and reminded me that she had always ended every little get-together with, "I love you."

She left me a lot.

I love you.

I'm Not Scared, You're Scared

When I was a kid, I was afraid of ghosts, monsters. I was scared that murderers were right outside my window. Of course we were trained in school to fear the atomic bomb and they tried their damndest to terrify me of hell every week in Sunday school. Yeah, I could go on. I'm guessing that you've got your own list.

Not much about the dark scares me now. I would welcome ghosts. It gets lonely around here.

 

Thanks to Rob Lorei for the lascivious art.

Keep Your Hands Where I Can See Them

For somebody who tends to hold on to everything, I don't seem to have had much luck with the things that matter. Oh, I'm not whining. Complaining. They say that nobody's passion lasts forever. What do they know?

At various stages in my life my priorities have changed. I seem to end up here- pretty much where I started.

Do you want to know a secret? There are no secrets. This is it.