You're Great. Now Change.

By the time that I became familiar with the term, eccentric, I realized that I had always been considered eccentric. It took a long time to figure out that eccentricity goes in and out of fashion.

Sorta' like being Irish on St. Patrick's Day. Sometimes I'm a prize at the cocktail party. Usually not so much.

When I was in the seventh or eighth grade I received an anonymous letter explaining my social shortcomings in some detail. A group of the girls had gotten together and put together a detailed list of suggested changes for me. Started off okay. I was cute. Then we got right to the buts and the howevers.

Hot rods were out of style. My hair was too long. Girls didn't really want to talk about rock'n'roll. My clothes were not right and wrestling was boring, fake and stupid.

It's sad for me to admit that I've continued to get that kind of communication on a fairly regular basis from the women who have passed through my life.

Considering the overwhelming consensus I'm gonna have to say that I should have put a little effort into straightening up. It's probably too late now. I just have to hope that weird comes back around in time to save me again. I mean well.

Love While You Can

Some days don't you just wish that you could go back and do things over again? I'm not sure that I finished loving all the folks and all the animals who have crossed my path in this go 'round and are now gone. What I wouldn't give to tell Wolfgang that I love him one more time or to kiss my mom good night again.

Grandma is on my mind all the time and I'll always regret missing any time that I might have spent with her and didn't.

There's not much I can do about any of it except to love as hard as I can right now and tell the folks and the animals how I feel. I love you. I'm going to walk Jamaica.

Romance Conquers Desire

You can choose to see the god in people or you can see the sad and beaten down side that shows in most everyone at one time or another. The beautiful mystery of life is always right there and no matter how many times you casually joke about the glass being half empty or half full. It's always going to be true. Peace is there if you want it. Love yourself and love your neighbor. Don't blame anyone else for any of your misfortunes.

Well, aren't we off to a fine start today. I love you.

The Best Medicine, The Best Drug

Trying to figure out the mire that I climb from it occurs to me that laughter has been missing from my daily existence for the better part of the last five years. Oh, I chuckle but I don't laugh 'til milk runs out of my nose. Not often enough.

I remember once when I was about ten or eleven years old and sneaking around the house with my cousin Jimmy in Birmingham. I say "sneaking" because it was the middle of the night and we were supposed to be tucked away in bed. Sorta' our idea of juvenile delinquency. Bad wasn't too bad in the Eisenhower years.

I always wanted to be clever and I always wanted to be dirty. I suppose I still do. In a sophisticated play on words, I whispered to Jimmy, "Hey, Jimmy. Donald Fuck."

Jimmy's three months older than I am, you understand, so his level of sophistication is way up there. He stared blankly at me for just a moment and responded, "So what. Mickey Piss."

Well, apparently he had blurted the magic word. We both peed and laughed and laughed and peed for what seemed to be a very long time. Judging from the mess that we had to mop up in the dark from the kitchen floor it was a very long time.

Okay. I'm not sophisticated or clever or dirty. I've got my joy back, though. Anybody wanna spend the night?

Far To Fall

What arrogance we display when we attempt to  tell others how to live. Shouldn't we be examples instead, living free, fair lives and doing the right thing because it's the right thing. No one needs to tell anyone else not to lie, cheat, steal or hurt. Either we learned all of that or figured it out as kids or we're not going to ever know it.

Same thing with our nations and our cultures. I suppose all empires start out with some benevolent ideas. We want their land and their resources. We'll give them our religions and our culture. It's never going to last and it's never going to work.

The temporarily conquered probably have their own deities who have already told them not to lie or cheat or steal or hurt. Those good guys seem to all share the same, simple messages.

So this time around we think that $4.00 a gallon gasoline is a good deal when it has been subsidized with the blood of our nation's sons and daughters and the wasted lives of untold numbers from other countries. We'll talk about the hate for us as a country with good intentions another time.

Pray for peace. Search for truth. Love.

No Heavy Lifting

Every path that has crossed mine has moved me further on my journey. That sounds like I've used people and I hope that's not the case. I do the best that I can and I try to stay true to the lessons that I learned from my grandmother. If I've hurt anyone along the way I suppose that it's better to think that maybe I may get a chance to make up for it rather than dwelling on my mistakes.

Then again, I would like to say here and now that I am truly sorry for any pain that I have caused anyone, ever. Let's study love.

Poisonville

Sometimes I wonder if never having kids is the saddest part of my life or a true blessing in disguise. Oh, I've had a hand in raising some kids but there was always a wall to make sure that my influence was limited to some degree. I'm the end of a line and I think about that plenty.

One of the things that gets to me is that families hug. Even families that fight hug when things are okay. I don't have anyone to hug. That's just weird.

That's not me feeling sorry for myself. I love a lot of folks and a lot of people are really good to me. Really good.